Archive for category Funny

LEGIT

Check out this penalty kick!!

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team roster series – episode 2

Justin Michael (Reality Check)

That’s THE Justin Michael formerly known as Justin Chan. If my boy was to be a Marvel Comics superhero, I think he would, without a doubt, be Gambit. You know, that dude with a brown trench coat, red eyes, and has the ability to fucking set playing cards ablaze! Yeah, Justin is like that.. sort of. Like Gambit, Justin’s handy with his cards and takes his gambling seriously. He likes lighting things up too except it won’t be a deck of cards as much as it will be a pack of tobacco sticks. Carrying around a pole ain’t his swag either, although JMC knows how to work one ( Jeff knows it all too well).

I’m not a person who subscribes to anything. I mean I don’t read Men’s Health, Wall Street Journal, or Sports Illustrated or anything like that. But I’ll tell you what I do read almost religiously, especially around basketball season – Justin’s Facebook status. He should win a Nobel Prize or Pulitzer for that shit because it literally keeps me happy and living longer. But hey, he tells it how it is and you can always count on the guy’s brutal honesty and that’s why we love him. Thanks, Reality Check!

PS: Here’s his most recent post
Justin Michael Chan
garbage ass heat, lakers ALL DAY.

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team roster series – episode 1

Jeffrey Khun (Loverboy)

Jeff’s the funniest guy in the group — hands down man. Dude doesn’t even need to say anything for me to start cracking up. He’s got  jokes of all sorts except all of them are either derogatory, sexual, or flat out disgusting. Have you ever received pictures of a person’s dookie everyday for two weeks straight via BBM? I doubt it. But if you ask any one of our friends, I guarantee you they all have, thanks to our good ol’ buddy Jeff over here. How about a guy that goes to the movies by himself on the usual? Jeff’s your guy again man. You see, there are people that can think outside the box. Jeff lives outside the box and has probably even taken a couple dumps while he’s been out there. But hey, that’s Jeff.

Even though he’s the youngest, he’s definitely the man. I know this guy’s always down for a good time and that’s why he’s my main dude to party with. Overall, he always keeps everything lighthearted and fun. What more can you ask for than a good time? Here’s to the party animal that you all wish you guys could be, Jeff the loverboy (all the guys know why he’s loverboy haha). Cheers.

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for all the Kobe Bryant fans…

Everyone knows I am a “Laker Hater” or more specific a “Kobe Hater” I hear all the time about how I should like the Lakers because I live in LA, Kobe is the greatest player blah blah blah… okay yeah I admit he is a great player.. but sometimes I just don’t understand some of his actions like: cheating oh his super hot wife with some blond bimbo… playing the whole season with injuries that could eventually hurt the Lakers chances in the playoffs (I am sure that even the Laker fans agree with me on this one, its just stupid considering that the Lakers were going to make the playoffs anyway, why not rest up and get healthy, idiot.), then what I found today on Yahoo! Sports News just makes me hate Kobe Bryant even more… and you know what this post is actually directed to the Laker band wagoners… SO I guess this applies to all of you… enjoy all you Laker Haters… this is just more fuel for the fire… Courtesy of Trey Kerby from Yahoo! Sports Blog

Kobe: ‘Wardrobe that’s all white? This just doesn’t happen.’

Kobe Bryant is a stylist’s dream — probably. Dressing Kobe Bryant, trim and in good shape, must be pretty easy as long as you can find long enough pants. Not to mention, he’s a good-looking dude. Don’t believe me? Ask GQ — they’re the ones that put him on the cover and in a bubble bath.

But sometimes, even for the best-looking guys, things can go wrong. Like, for instance, if you were to put Kobe Bryant in an all-white pilgrim outfit, that might look weird. Or, I don’t know, maybe a super deep white v-neck with a head scarf that might be made out of a pillowcase. Just off the top of my head, I’m thinking those might be bizarre looks.

Confirmed. Very weird. Especially the headband under the hat part.

[Photos: View a slideshow of Kobe on the court.]

These photos are from a cover article in the L.A. Times Magazine appropriately titled “White Hot.” And if you’re thinking it’s strange to put Kobe in all-white, well, he’s with you.

Tom Murray: I have to ask, when you’re in that chopper, do you ever look down on the city, pinch yourself and say …

Kobe Bryant: How the hell did this happen? Absolutely every time. Like I’m sitting here right now. [Nods toward the two ladies primping him.] You know what I mean? This is dream [expletive]. Wardrobe that’s all white? This just doesn’t happen. Not for me. This is crazy.

I cannot disagree, because this is very crazy. Sleeveless hoodie and capri pants crazy.

The article is definitely worth a read, if only because you’ll find out that Kobe does most of the interview while getting a manicure, facial and having makeup applied. Really. He talks about picking up after his dog, playing Guitar Hero against Ray Lewis and how much he loves the Dropkick Murphys, all while being pampered before his all-white photo shoot. It’s amazing.

Pilgrim Kobe is my new favorite Kobe. Way to go, L.A. Times Magazine. Please do DJ Mbenga next.

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HAHAHAHAHAH thanks jay.

another funny youtube clip (in my opinion) from Jay Hervey, enjoy.

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Take a step of Hope

In life are hopes and dreams take the best of us. What I mean that everyone in life has these hopes and dreams that maybe one day his/her life will be better and his/her dreams will come true whatever they may be. I believe in every person there is someone willing to see beyond today and tomorrow realizing that what is to become of them in the future and how each step they take today is changing their chances of tomorrow. I feel that most people realize that life is not as fun anymore as they age each and every day they are thinking about their dreams and goals and how are we going to conquer them. I am wondering if anyone has taken it even a step further and realized each day we live is one more day closer to our death and do you think that someone is really thinking about what impression am I going to make myself on others on the day that you or I die.  I want to test all the readers that look at this if you are willing to do this you will help the world to be a better place. My test is that I want you to help a family member, a friend, or even a stranger in desperate need. You can make a change today if you take a step of hope. A step of hope for that when you die everyone will remember you for being the most altruistic person in your group of friends, family, or the world.

On a side note I felt like writing a poem. Because I have been watching too much Def Poetry which is so real.

Title: Obsession
Life is objective. So subjective to the changes of our goals
that of which are desires to make changes to are certain roles.
we affect others each and every day
that life is this silly game we play
some people have this obsession
they believe we can get ourselves out of this great depression
this state of mind
gives us time to rewind
and think of tomorrow
let me give you hope that tomorrow won’t bring you sorrow
for it is a new day
where we can sit around or play
let me say a few words
I have an obsession
with depression
why because these real eyes realize the real lies
that everyone holds within themselves when time flies
all the people around them disappear
only to reappear
when they are needed
that can be seeded
in everyone of us.
Let me say a few words
I have this obsession
with not depression but aggression
that I bottle up inside of me
so no one has to see
that side of me but only see the light
when darkness comes I’m out of sight
to change into someones super hero
that in reality may only be a zero
but is willing to make changes.
Let me say a few words
I have an obsession
this time its not aggression or depression but progression
what does the future hold for you or I
is it something to past the time before you die
let me change your perspective
this is not a course its an elective
the future is the choices you make today
whether it be drugs, love, money or whatever you might say
Remember this that you are not alone
because this obsession with whatever it may be can be changed, something to hone
So, don’t worry about these obsessions
For these are only my confessions.

Written by: Jay Hervey

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Things people should know about Driving

These are some facts and opinions I have toward driving in general

Fact: I honestly hate bad drivers!

Opinion: I feel most women are bad drivers and almost every guy in the world would agree
FACT: People need to understand the freeway: The left side lane is the carpool lane usually meant for people who are going fast with more than one person so that more than one person can get to a place faster than they would in normal traffic (This means if you are going less than 80 get the fuck out of the carpool people have places to go) the lane next to the carpool lane 2nd farthest lane is known as the fast lane. People should know this is the lane where people want to go to go fast because they have places to go and they can’t go in the carpool lane because there is only one person in the car and they don’t feel like breaking the law (This means if you are going less than 80 get the fuck out of this lane because people have places to go) Next is the lane next to carpool lane or the middle lane of the freeway in this lane people really need to know this lane is known as the changing lane so if you are in this lane people should be going around (70-80mph) if you are blocking traffic please move to the furthest right side lane. The furthest right side lane *WARNING* this is known as the SLOW LANE understand THIS LANE IS FOR SLOW PEOPLE and people are going to try to get off the freeway here so they go slow for a reason and big rigs tend to be in this lane for a reason because they have to get off and can’t be being blocked off when they need to get off the freeway. This is usually the speed limit lane or exit lane so if you aren’t going at least the speed limit get the fuck off the freeway.

Opinion: When you are getting tail gated that means you are driving to fucking slow so please speed up or move to the furthest right side lane where the slow drivers are suppose to be or the lane you feel you should be in look above.

FACT: During when traffic hits most people do not know that the freeway laws are reversed from above because everyone feels like they need to go to the right lane because it is faster but it isn’t true because everyone tries going to that lane and clogs up and with the carpool lane most of the time is fast can get clogged from retarded drivers.

Opinion: A driver should know if you are getting cut off don’t be alarmed it was because you were driving too slow for either the retarded reckless driver or the experienced driver that has to get from one place fast and you are in his/her way.

FACT: Everyone knows that you can get a ticket for not signaling 100 feet from the point you are turning. SO LEARN TO FUCKING SIGNAL its only a little flick of your finger. If you leave your signal on please actually go to that direction and not leave it on just to piss off drivers behind you.

Opinion: I feel handicapped people can not drive (thus being handicapped) bless their souls these people but I feel they should have timed driving limits. I don’t understand why they are allowed to drive when they are handicapped beats me and is there a reason why they drive so slow?? Handicapped people should not be allowed in any other lane than the furthest right lane or the SLOW LANE.

FACT: If you making a left at a yield traffic light if you can count to 3 you could have gone and if you didn’t go realize you just made someone behind you waiting a chance to have gone from their destination a little bit faster help the world out and try to follow it. (Experienced/Expert drivers only) If you have a fast enough accelerating car and they look like retarded drivers at the light you can jump the gun and make it but if people these cars are determined to get you they will.

Opinion: I feel that old people can not drive either. They need to be in the SLOW LANE on the freeway and should realize that speed limit is normal and *Impeding TRAFFIC IS A TRAFFIC VIOLATION*

FACT: People need to know to be courteous with parking please learn to park and do not park in the middle and be a douche *CAUTION* gangsters/angry people will key you if you do this or DOUBLE PARKING don’t be a Fucktard and think your car is extra special to have to take two spaces if it that special go get someone to watch after you car or valet that shit bitch.  Parking in the lines is much appreciated so please don’t park correctly if you can’t correct yourself in 3 times you may need to learn how to park on your own time don’t waste everyone’s time around you.

Opinion: I feel most Asian drivers do not know how to drive if you are one of them please stay on the slow side of traffic or please try to follow the traffic laws as much as possible.

FACT: People driving under the influence of drugs may drive recklessly and most people tend to this later at night so if you are driving from 12-4 *Beware of people on drugs and try to give them some space*

Opinion: I feel people who drive new cars need to learn that you do not need to stay 100 feet away from the car in front of you… it will not hurt to drive a little closer possibly until you can’t see the back of their tires anymore.

FACT: If you are tired or too fucked to drive let someone drive you home please this can cause accidents.

Opinion: Cops are way too biased to women in the driving field and let them off way to easily. (Advice for men) Have a woman in the car with you they may be able to get out of tickets.

If you do not agree with this agree to disagree. 🙂
This is what I feel just my opinions.
If you feel there is more that should be on this feel free to add.

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